Hugh Grant is 50 today

…and what’s interesting, what’s really interesting about this, is that he seems to have retired.* At 50! Of course, he still makes the odd film, eg ‘Did You Hear About the Morgans?’ But you wouldn’t bother going to see them, not after you wasted £50 on a meal/babysitter going to see ‘Music and Lyrics’ three years ago. You doubt Hugh Grant would go to see them either.

How is Hugh Grant spending his retirement-at-50? Some thoughts.

1. Writing a memoir: Not unlikely. His foppish rival Rupert Everett mocked Grant in one of the best bits in his memoir ‘Red Carpets and Other Banana Skins’ (he’s approached at an airport by a fan wanting his autograph and… oh, just read it, I’m too tired to go through it all and anyway I’ll fluff the punchline), so Grant will naturally be wanting to get his own back.

2. Cruising West Hollywood looking for black prostitutes: No, no, no – that was just a ‘moment of madness’ a long time ago and bringing it up again is hurtful and unnecessary.

3. Having a facelift: We hope not as his craggy appearance rather suits him. Though it’s worth mentioning that back in 1999, when Time Out put him on the cover for ‘Notting Hill’, everyone in the office was amazed at how much touching up his portrait needed…

Arise, Sir Hugh!

*As long ago as 2004 he was describing himself as ‘semi-retired’ and film-making as ‘a miserable experience’.

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