My glasses! My glasses! (to be said in a Velma-from-Scooby-Doo voice)
It may be because it’s Spring, it may have been my recent visit to the Ideal Home Show, it may be because we are about to have out decrepit, mouse-infested kitchen that bits are literally dropping off replaced with a shiny new one, it may be that I have a month’s free supply of dishwasher detergent at my disposal, or it may be that I’ve run out of displacement activities, but I’ve suddenly got the urge for some extreme cleaning.
I’ve cleaned the oven, scraped off the unpleasant blobs that have grown on the inside of the bedroom windows over winter, wiped down each individual slat on the blinds, attacked the grouting with the toothbrush, I’ve laundered the cloth shopping bags and hung them outside on the line, and I may even, because it;s really getting on my nerves now, finally get round to resurfacing the rubber on the bathroom floor which you’re supposed to do every year but of course I haven’t done since it was installed.
Is it going to far to get all your glassware and systematically feed the lot through the dishwasher just to make it shiny? I’m talking about the stuff right at the back of the shelf that’s cultivated a second skin of grime, dust and I don’t know what, things like the champagne flutes that you only use at Christmas, the tiny liqueur glasses bought in a flea market and only used once because, frankly, when you have a drink you like it to be a decent size, and the novelty Leffe glasses that came with a promotional offer but don’t really fit in with your tableware aesthetic. The stuff that is technically ‘clean’ but that when you lift it up leaves behind a sharp silhouette in the dust.
I know some people avoid putting their nice glasses into the dishwasher. They don’t trust a process where you put something into a dark cupboard, close it, can’t see what’s going on, then when you open the door again what you put in has changed by some magical process. These are the same sorts of people who make sure that a socket is switched off, even if there is nothing plugged in, just in case any electrons leak out in the night; and who talk to the telly because they think the broadcaster can hear them.
It’s tricky finding the optimum loading technique for maximum glassware capacity and safety, but with the shot glasses and sherry glasses popped on the spikes on the top deck (is there a technical term for these?), the champagne saucers laid carefully where the mugs would usually be, and the wine glasses and champagne flutes (yes, we have two different types of champagne glass, what of it? we also have a decanter, but still haven’t taken it out of the box) on the plate wrack on the lower deck, I can get almost everything into one load. Which I think is an achievement.[note to self or anyone thinking of buying me a present in the near future – at this age we also ought to have proper whisky glasses by now]
On the plus side I now have lots of sparkling glassware to catch the rays filtering through the newly cleaned slatted shutters; on the minus side I’ve now got to clean the shelves to match.
Breaking News! Just spotted QuantuMatic half price in Sainsburys.
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