The Midlife Dream Home

When you got your first place, you had nothing to furnish it with save a camping stove, a futon and some Reject Shop crockery in primary colours.

These days you want quality. You want craftsmanship. You want character. You want a handmade oak table that’s been sanded to perfection and a pepper mill with a state-of-the-art grinder.

Marketing people reel you in with phrases like ‘dream kitchen’, but have you ever stopped to wonder when you last had an actual dream about a kitchen? One that didn’t involve sharp knives or unrealistically good-looking tradesmen?

Here is The Midlife Manual’s checklist of the ultimate midlife home: Continue reading

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Even charity shop workers look young these days

It was the school quiz night last night: 100 repressed parents let out for one night + cheap alcohol… But aside from people getting overly competitive and quibbling over the Ancient Greek site for the Olympics (first prize you understand was cheap chocs from Macro), 80s parents mistaking EMF for Curiosity Killed the Cat, people trying to steal the plastic shot glasses, and the school-disco frisson of wearing a low-cut top and drinking alcohol in the school hall, the main thing that occurred to me was, ‘Bloody Hell! Reception parents look young these days! Continue reading

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Midlife preoccupations: January

Some of the things on our minds this month:

Is going to the gym/joining a pilates class in January too much of a cliché? (ditto dieting, not drinking) Should you wait till March to seem less predictable?

Is it worth watching Upstairs Downstairs at this stage, or should you just delete it from Sky+ to make room for Zen?

Zen v Wallander? Continue reading

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An attempt to explain Band Aid to an 11 year old

Prompted by an ad for the forthcoming BBC2 drama When Harvey Met Bob, I’ve just tried to explain Band Aid to an 11 year old.

Having been shocked that she didn’t know what I was talking about, I decided to educate her and made her summon it up on You Tube. Continue reading

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The Archers shocker

Is it just MM who is  getting stressed about the threat of New Year events that will ‘shock Ambridge to the core’ (already being referred to as SATTC)?

Surely the reason most people listen to the Archers is for its reassurance of a world where disaster is an Eddie Grundy money-making scheme and shocking is a single woman of independent means electing to have a baby on her own; not for tram crashes, hostage situations, explosions, murders, and the sorts of things that only happen to common people in fictional urban postcodes. Continue reading

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Competition madness!

COMPETITION! For the next three weeks you can win signed copies of The Midlife Manual and new limited-edition tea towels! Visit

Christmas present dilemma sorted.

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Cards for the midlifer in your life

Friday Evening

Thanks to a Midlife fan for drawing these cards to our attention (spotted in a local shop in Chorlton – not South London this time but, hey, it might as well be). Continue reading

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